Why Failure Is Necessary
To learn to walk First fall at least a few hundred times.
To learn to speak, our first words must be gibberish.
To learn to read, we first butcher our pronunciation at least a few hundred times.
To learn to do anything in life, we must first fail.
Yet
We do everything in our power to avoid failure.
We create systems and processes to ensure that success is almost guaranteed.
We build safety nets to catch us if we fall.
It’s almost as if, as we grow older
We run away from the very thing that molded us into who we are.
Or is it the discomfort and ridicule that come with failure?
I do not have a definitive answer for you, but what I do have are three short answers to a very simple question I have asked highly successful people I know. Details have been redacted and language altered to preserve their privacy, given the very public nature of their personas.
Acquaintance #1
Q) Was failure important to becoming who you are?
A) (In-person interview. Language edited to preserve privacy)
Let’s put it this way:
“If I had not failed, I would not have become the person I am today. See, nothing was given to me and nothing was going my way. Everything I tried or tried to build failed miserably, and it makes you feel incompetent and small. Not a good feeling, I promise you that.”
I was mocked by my peers for trying to be an “entrepreneur.” I was laughed out of VC firms for not having a marketable product, and customers on various forums mocked my ideas as just another version of something that already existed.
I spent nights dealing with panic attacks, wondering how I was going to pay rent or feed myself.
I watched my bank account drain and the credit card bills pile up.
I had failed at being the person I wanted to be.
I sat down at my desk, head in hand, cursing the world with tears running down my face and a migraine to end all migraines, and this voice in my head kept screaming, “Ready for round two?”
You know what to expect now, you know how to respond to it, and you know how to process it.
So pick yourself back up and get out there, because that job belongs to you and no one else.
It took five more attempts and a massive debt to build the empire that I dreamed of.
“Failure taught me to pick myself back up again and again, like a baby learning to walk.”
Acquaintance #2
Q) Was failure important to becoming who you are?
A) (Response received via a Zoom call. Language edited to preserve privacy)
“Of course it was! If I had not failed, I would not have learned what it takes to make a successful business. There is no formula, and all these books try to sell you one. Your business is your business, and you are the only one who knows what it will take to get it off the ground. The formulas come in when the gears are turning, not before that.”
My first business lasted about four months, cost me 3,000 dollars, and taught me that assumptions about the market will always burn the business.
My second business cost me 8,000 dollars, lasted about six months, and taught me that customers favor an established presence when it comes to large expenses.
My third business went on for eight months, put me 50,000 in debt, and taught me that the right team is a matter of interpretation.
My fourth and current business started with me in debt for 80k, and it taught me that persistence, resilience, and silence in the right moments will open the right doors.
There were many ideas and ventures that never even saw the light of day, and they all taught me something I could use for the next one. It took ten years of trying, failing, crying, and panicking to get here.
When people speak of destiny
They never speak of the failures you need to go through.
They always make it sound like it was a smooth journey
And then they sell that to everyone.
If you think you are destined to do something
If it calls to you every night before you go to bed
If it gnaws at you when you sit at your desk
Then you have my sympathies.
You have been chosen for something truly great
But it comes with a trial.
Not everyone gets a walk in the park.
Persist, persist, persist.
Iterate, iterate, iterate.
To hell with the opinions of everyone
“Contrary to popular belief, you do not get one shot—you get a boat full of them. So keep shooting. The second you stop… it’s all over, and you have learned nothing from your failure.”
Acquaintance #3
Q) Was failure important to becoming who you are?
A) (Received as a written response. Edited and language altered to preserve privacy)
“Failure is the reason I can stand and face a crowd of thousands and sell them my vision. It is the reason I do not flinch when a department fails to produce results. It is the reason I am able to sleep soundly at night, knowing tomorrow is a new day. It is the very reason I have developed this resilience that can withstand anything that comes my way.”
I was never like this. I was always quiet, a below-average performer at school, a forgettable face in any company’s roster, and almost always someone who never received a second look. I did not know a lot of things back then, and I still do not know a lot of things. One thing I did know was that I wanted to be my own boss and run my own business. Getting to where I am today nearly cost me my life, and it broke me in ways you think are not even possible. I could have given up and gone back to work, and by now I would have found a way to get into six figures a year, but this voice in my head would not shut up.
It kept saying:
“You need to build this. They do not understand its value right now, but when you get it right, they will.”
You know… my business would never have existed had I not failed at a crucial moment? That failure is the reason I and this business exist. Long story short, I was rejected for funding from practically every VC firm I could get a hold of. I was told the business had no long-term potential and that I lacked the knowledge and finesse to ensure its growth and survivability. I also had no customers. I was told the market had no need for what I was building, as it was a derivative of an established product. I was 45k in debt, had no income, and was on the verge of homelessness. At that point, I had lost everything one can lose. This is where people give up and seek stability. I yearned for more.
So I said to myself: If they are not going to fund it, then I will find a way to fund it myself and prove them wrong. I mean, what more can I lose now? I went to every bank and lender to try and secure a loan. I must have failed at least a few dozen times, but I kept refining my pitch, walking in with PowerPoints and charts to prove the need for my product. Eventually, a manager at a bank with an entrepreneurial spirit offered me a small loan after moving a few mountains for me, and what they said to me I still remember:
“This is all I can do for you. Make it count.”
I made it count.
All my failures gave me the confidence to persist.
All my failures gave me the resilience to withstand.
All my failures taught me there is no instruction manual for your success.
You are in the middle of writing one.
You made it to the end. That means you liked it or you’re very patient. Either way, subscribe, share, and tell your friends. I need a big network for reasons.
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